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In what could very possibly be the worst auto-related commercial we have ever seen, Volkswagen has somehow convinced Brooke Shields (really Brooke, are things this bad?) to shill its new, at least to VW showrooms, Caravan Routan minivan. Apparently, what the people want is a badge-engineered Volkswagen version of the Pentastar minivan platform. In the extended commercial, Shields attempts to explain with a straight face that Americans are getting pregnant just so they can buy a Routan and enjoy its German engineering. Except that it’s not German engineered, unless you count the fact that Daimler was still married to Chrysler when the van was developed. We certainly don’t. Sure, the Routan’s Chrysler-sourced suspension was probably tweaked by Volkswagen, and it’s got softer styling up front to differentiate it from its Auburn Hills-based brothers, but those credentials are far from enough to call it “German engineered”.

The new Volkswagen Routan minivan hasn’t even gone on sale yet and there is already an incentive on its hood. This one, however, is not your typical cash back deal. Instead, Volkswagen is working under the assumption that the people likely to actually purchase a Routan are those with kids to haul. As such, VW of America is teaming up with Upromise to provide buyers with $1,500 towards a higher education savings plan. Upromise is a company that works with retailers to provide cash back bonuses when one of their registered credit card is used for purchases. Those rebates can then be transferred to a 529 education savings plan. To be eligible for the college bonus, you have to pre-order the Chrysler-built Routan by the end of August and take delivery by the end of November.