You asked…”Why don’t I ever get asked out?”
Experts and readers answer our members’ toughest dating and relationship questions
“My entire adult life, I have gone out to all the places you’re told to go to meet someone special. Nothing. I never even get asked out. It’s like I’m invisible, and my life has wasted away because there’s not a damn thing I can to do to ‘make’ someone want me. I’m no size 0, but I’m not an elephant either. I have a great personality (that one again!), but I can’t get my friends to understand that I simply refuse to put myself through more pain and humiliation by going to a dance and never getting asked to dance. I feel like such a damned freak. Can you help me?” — Shelby B., 51, Atlanta, Georgia
Tina Tessina, Ph.D. Answers
Shelby — You’re not a freak. Lots of people have this problem. Have you had someone review your online profile? Maybe it doesn’t really let people know who you are. Going to a dance and sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to ask you is a losing proposition for anyone.
Get your great personality front and center, where guys can see it.
Get your great personality front and center, where guys can see it. Go to small group activities, where you can actually talk to people. If you are at a big event, learn how to approach a guy and say, “Hi. How are you tonight?” Compliment something he’s wearing, like “That’s an interesting watch.” And when he says “thank you,” ask a question about it. “Why did you choose that one?” Saying pleasant things, followed by simple questions, gets the conversation going.